blinded.

Love blinds people. 

I agree. I have been far too blind I guess. I don't used to hang out late, but now I do, because of him. I am... really in love with him I guess. I worry that sometimes he is just toying with me. But at times, I get too blinded that I would just pretend nothing happened. 

I want to be self-less. I just want him to be happy as he do stuffs that he like, text/whatsapp his friends or even a girl that he likes. So long as he is happy, I will be. I don't need to be possessive because I like/ love him. This is not the way to LOVE. I will take it on with a brave and strong heart, that if he really likes another girl, I will be here to applaud for him. As much as a girl would hope the one she loves would love her back, I wouldn't harbor any hope of him liking me back. 

7 years... sounds scary to the others, to him but not to me. Who says age gap is an obstacle? I wouldn't mind acting more matured and you acting more kiddy just so that we could meet halfway through the 7 years gap.

hurt...maybe.

I'm trying to be fine. Yes I am fine. To be honest, I cried a couple of moments ago. WHY?

Imagine this:
The person that you have interest in/liked/loved feels that you are a flirt. Says that right in your face. Damn, how hurtful can that be right? I swear I broke down in tears. But... I had to force a smile in front of my mom and my sister. I lost my appetite... even when eating my favorite ice cream used to be such a joy. I really hope that when he said he trusted me, it was for real. Not just trying to make me happy, but really for real. Come on, when I really admit that I like someone, I really do. I can meet you at night, even in the wee hours just for you. Why can't you just be convinced? Even when it comes to you saying that, you think it won't work out for the both of us. I can't decide when I'm born, neither can I decide whether to like you or not.

I think I'm a fool. At such a point of time, I chose to look on the positive side that, "Is he being jealous? Does he really feel for me that way?" Which I would be such a dumb ass and persuade myself to believe it that way. YES I'M DUMB, STUPID AND A FOOL TO STAND THERE AND LET HIS FRIENDS HIT ON ME RIGHT. I SHOULD JUST STAND AT THE ENTRANCE OF THE PARK. NOW, HOW AM I GONNA WORK NEXT SATURDAY SINCE I'M WORKING FOR HAP.

I really hope, and pray that he would trust me. Because his trust means everything to me.

goodbye x.

:(

I feel so... worried. I hope that everything goes well and that everything would be fine. Things are getting better, hope it just doesn't get screwed up... you're my everything.

goodnight x.

happiness.

I've been really happy these days all thanks to... HIM (: Yes, thanks for brightening up my day each day whenever I talk to you. Thank you for telling me your misses for me that makes me feel so cherished and assured. For you, I'm going to be a cat. And, thanks for being my bear. Hehe (:

Hope to see him real soon, cause... I missed you too.

Goodnight xoxo.

My true feelings.

There is this guy who is a dancer. He never fails to make me smile to myself each time I look at my phone. He will always be the one by my side, every single time when I'm alone or when I need someone to talk to. "You're so sweet," is what he claimed about me every time. Do you know, you're the real sweet guy that have always been there for me? Each time he sees me, he would definitely offer me a hug. How sweet can he be.

And out of those guys that I ever had interest in, he is the one who makes me feel this:
-I don't mind what's our age gap.
-I don't mind how many girls like you, because I know I'm gonna be one of them.
-You can ignore my feelings, because I know I'm gonna continue liking you.
-I can do anything, just to make you happy (:
-I'm always gonna be there for you.
-I will keep my feelings to myself cause... I don't want to scare you away from me. I want to keep you close to me.

Thanks for being such an important part of my life. Yes, my LIFE. This might sound exaggerating, but this is the first time one guy meant so much to me... Day & night, my mind could be filled with him. My heart is just never there, unless I'm with my best friends. Whenever he is sick or injured, I could feel a searing pain through me, as if the pain was inflicted upon me.

Why are you being such a huge part of me? Tell me why. But I would really want to thank you, for making me so happy all this while. You... are indeed my sunshine ☀.